365 Project - Day 365

"Because of the extravagance of those revelations, and so I wouldn't get a big head, I was given the gift of a handicap to keep me in constant touch with my limitations. Satan's angel did his best to get me down; what he in fact did was push me to my knees. No danger then of walking around high and mighty! At first I didn't think of it as a gift, and begged God to remove it. Three times I did that, and then he told me,

My grace is enough; it's all you need.
My strength comes into its own in your weakness.

Once I heard that, I was glad to let it happen. I quit focusing on the handicap and began appreciating the gift. It was a case of Christ's strength moving in on my weakness. Now I take my limitations in stride, and with good cheer, these limitations that cut me down to size - abuse, accidents, opposition, bad breaks. I just let Christ take over! And so the weaker I get, the stronger I become." 2Corinthians 12:7-10

This photograph is my celebration of my 1 year anniversary of breaking my ankle. I suffered a severe break of my left fibula while rushing out of the house on Day 3 to capture the early morning fog. Unfortunately, I had both my camera and my most expensive lens in my hands when I came crashing down. While the few days that followed were trying, the 350 days after have been exhilarating in many ways. I certainly developed as a photographer while shooting more than 30,000 photographs during the past year. But more importantly, making the decision to blog rather than simply post the photos has developed the holistic me.

And now I am closing out this project with this self-portrait as my finale and tribute to both physical and spiritual growth. I love everything about this photograph. I moved around to find an ideal spot. I like the mix of light and shadows, the messiness of leaves and acorns, that my healed leg is planted, the camera and tripod silhouette, the multitude of long bold shadows, and the fact that I am running toward the camera as I press the remote trigger. As I said the other day, it is unclear to me how this ended up as the final photo, but leaving it here makes perfect sense. It has been important to me to learn from the break. My most profound lesson came as I was listening to a Joel Osteen CD recently. It is a sermon I have heard repeatedly given it is stuck in my car's dashboard. This time I understood.

Joel describes admiring a sunset in India, when he feels God questioning about His greatest creation. It was in that moment, after listening to this sermon multiple times, that I finally made the connection. I realized I had been rushing out of the house that morning to photograph something God considers ordinary, when He needed to me to focus on the extraordinary. Yes, fog, sunsets, landscapes, flowers are beautiful, but His most prized possessions are people. To be candid, most of the time, when I hear this call, my response is, "you're asking just a little too much of me."

My assignment is clear-ish. I have been assigned a people project. Why me? Not sure. It is a difficult project and I needed an adjustment to remind me that lovely photos of the fog had absolutely nothing to do with that assignment. On top, I wasn't so sure I was fit for His race and had confessed as much. So perhaps I was running away. The break accomplished 2 things: the narrowing of my focus and the assurance of His omnipresent strength. I did not stop taking photos of lovely things, but I did double-down on people.

From here I will move on to completing my task and also start a new photography project. My next project will be a 52 Week project. I will orchestrate selected photography exercise, planning mindful execution. More importantly, however, it allows me to focus on my assignment.

Love and Blessings!

Today's Photo: Grace: The weaker I get, the stronger I become!

"When we lose one blessing, another is often most unexpectedly given in its place." C.S. Lewis

365 Project - Day 363

"You are never given a wish without also being given the power to make it come true. You may have to work for it, however." Richard Bach

When I initially planned my final week of photos, I planned this as Day 365. Practically, it should have been. Oh well, 2 days off isn't too awful.

I was driving home last night, more tired than I should have been and could only get one station on my car radio. WHUD and was playing only 70's music. I can't recall the last time I had heard many of the songs, but I knew nearly every word to every song. I belted out every tune like I was young girl spinning 45s in my bedroom. These words from Ricky Nelson's Garden Party resonated, "But it's all right now, I learned my lesson well. You see, ya can't please everyone, so ya got to please yourself." The rest of the lyrics are "meh", but the chorus works for me. Similarly, the photo below is all me. Could I have made different and more impactful choices? Absolutely.

The Bible is my confirmation Bible. I have a lot of Bibles. I pulled a few off the shelf. This one, to my surprise, had my name handwritten inside along with the date presented to me. It has always had a prominent place on my shelf. I actually thought it belonged to one of my grandmothers. I chose to open the book to Philippians, "I can do all things through him who strengthens me." (Phil. 4:13) I am enjoying our study of prayer in our church series. The moleskin is my new prayer journal. When writing prayers recently and looking at this photo, I noticed that the penpoint in the photo was just about on Philippians 1:6,

"And I am sure that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ."

The camera is the first I acquired on my own. I have gotten a lot of mileage out of my Nikon FE2. I won a contest at work some 20+ years ago and chose it from the catalog as my prize. The camera, instead of a pair of skis, or a grill or a bass fishing boat or jewelry, etc.

The ball is a Ball of Whacks from Roger von Oech. "Most people think of success and failure as opposites, says von Oech, but they are both products of the same process." Roger von Oech is a creative genius and as I move into my next phase of photography projects, I will take the time to stretch my creative muscles. I believe my creativity and the ability to interpret situations differently than others is a terrific advantage. The piece inside the Bible is from the ball. A reminder that even the smallest creative exercise or influence can give way to big change. Every von Oech exercise puts this theory into practice, "Take advantage of the ambiguity in the world. Look at something and think what else might it be?"

The candle ... "He said to them. 'Do you bring in a lamp to put it under a bowl or a bed? Instead, don't you put it on its stand? For whatever is hidden is meant to be disclosed, and whatever is canceled is meant to be brought out into the open. If anyone has ears to hear, let them hear. Consider carefully what you hear,' he continued. "With the measure you use, it will be measured to you - and even more. Whoever has will be given more; whoever does not have, even what thy have will be taken from them." (Mark 4:21-25) We must develop our gifts and shine our lights brightly giving in some form to as many people as possible.

When I mentioned to someone that I was nearing the end of this project, they asked if I had learned much about myself along the way. The answer is a resounding, "YES!" I had forgotten how much I enjoy writing. Making this a nearly daily process has brought both the thrill of victory and the agony of defeat. Yet, every moment I persist with that pen, I win.

I used this cross previously to photograph a silhouette with my crutches. The photo is one of my favorites. This small cross always appears larger, serving as a reminder of the omnipresence of God. Emerson's may be one of the best perspectives, "All I have seen teaches me to trust the creator for all I have not seen." I intended more by this cross, however. Jesus was clear about our ability to gain strength through our relationship with him, "Very truly I tell you, whoever believes in me will do the works I have been doing, and they will do even greater things than these, because I am going to the Father. And I will do whatever you ask in my name, so that the Father may be glorified in the Son. You may ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it."(John 14:12-14)

Now that's a promise I expect to collect. Blessings.

Today's Photo: 365 Project Self-Portrait

"And who knows you may have been chosen for just such a time as this." Esther 4:14b

365 Project - Day 37

I do not enjoy being photographed and you will find few photos with me in them. I believe, however, self-portraiture will allow me to have more control over what appears. "How Self-Portraiture Makes You a Better Photographer," by Ryan Pendleton (another Digital Photography School article) inspired me to work on a self portrait project yesterday. This was more ambitious than I anticipated. I chose to use natural light from a large east facing window. Once I lost that light, I switched to light from an adjacent room. The photo I selected is from the latter. I also preferred the mono version.

Of course, I worked through the normal challenges, including lighting, posing and placement. This project was also personally demanding given my limited mobility with my broken leg and on top, I could not find our remote trigger. Therefore, I had to minimize placement adjustments and set the camera timer at 20s to give me enough time to "crutch" over to the stool, drop my crutches and pose. In the end, this was not much of a glamour shot (not my style anyway) as I did not have the flexibility to change outfits, redo my hair or refresh my make-up, but I ended up with few keepers. And, I had a few laughs at myself too.

I love the idea of using self portraits as a creative outlet and tool to develop technique. I learned a lot throughout the day and Ryan is right, I was a more patient subject. As my first sincere attempt at self portraiture, I'm pleased ! I am thinking about this as a regular project.

Today's Photo: Self Portrait #1

"... the Lord bestows favor and honor, no good thing does He withhold ..." Psalm 84:11

"The present moment is the only moment available to us, and it is the door to all moments." Thich Nhat Hanh