365 Project - Day 358

"We never noticed the beauty because we were too busy trying to create it." Unknown

How does one see beauty? In an effort to create a more beautiful photo for today's contribution, I selected my idea of a perfect leaf and stretched out my arm so that I could focus in on the leaf, with the tree serving as a wonderful backdrop. Unfortunately, my arm was not quite long enough for my lens to acquire sharp focus. I continued to stretch and twist until I pulled a muscle in my back. I was in so much pain that I could not stand up straight. All in an attempt to create something that did not exist. I was both frustrated and broken.

As much as I could, I continued to walk around the garden to find something else to photograph given I still need a picture for today's project, but I was in tremendous pain. When processing the photo below, it dawned on me that I may have been trying too hard. And, that could be my lesson in this. Rather than stretch and twist to create something new, perhaps I needed to improve my ability to see the beauty that surrounded me. Appreciating the simplicity in that, would have saved me a lot of agony.

Too often we are running toward something more perfect and in doing so, we miss or take for granted that which exists around us. With a little more patience and a lot more intention, nature will inform us of the beauty in all things.

Blessings.

Today's Photo: Truth in Beauty

"If you truly love nature, you will find beauty everywhere." Vincent van Gogh

365 Project - Days 356, 357

"All is how it should be. Just be. Just breathe." April Peerless

Happy Halloween!

Yesterday I celebrated the 1 year anniversary of breaking my ankle by going out for a short run. I used the opportunity to reclaim my body. Later in the day and this morning, I was filled with agonizing aches and pains in seemingly every muscle, groaning with each step as I climbed and descended stairs. The feeling has been fantastic. Every ache, every pain is like a long, lost friend. I have enjoyed feeling like I'm on my way to taking better care of myself. Those pains are familiar. It has just been far too long.

I was surprised at the strength of my legs and concerned at the weakness in my breath during the run. I felt all my anxieties knotted up in my chest, tightening my breath, making it nearly impossible for me to catch the next one. In that moment, I faced the dichotomy of my existence: one part ready to fly, the other anxious and restrictive. As I was about to try to stretch out a second go, my husband texted to remind me that we had a conference call and our appointment was on the line. I paused; took a deep breath; turned around and with confidence wrought with urgency, ran home. In that moment, my breathing relaxed. There was no time for anxiousness. That deep breath immediately provided fullness and strength that carried me home.

Sometimes when life's messiness makes us crazy, we need to pause and breathe before we get back in the race.

Today's Photos: Just Breathe

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“Your breathing is your greatest friend. Return to it in all your troubles and you will find comfort and guidance.” ~Unknown

365 Project - Days 354, 355

"Every particular in nature, a leaf, a droplet, a crystal, a moment of time is related to the whole, and partakes of the perfection of the whole." Ralph Waldo Emerson

We end daylight savings time this weekend. Yet another sign of the approaching winter. Wedged between the warmth and freshness of spring and summer and the cold and bitterness of winter, it does have a few of its own exceptional qualities. The crisp, bright mornings; cool breezes; uniquely beautiful colors; hearty comforting meals make this an embraceable season. The trouble is that I can often long for that summer heat and grow anxious about the bleak, cold winter. When that happens, I totally miss the grace and beauty within each autumn moment.

Isn't that very true about life? We spend time reminiscing about our past; pre-occupied with hopes of returning to the good ole days and we worry about the days ahead, creating a life of tortured anxiety long before an event occurs. Split between these two worlds, we miss the reality unfolding around us. Then I wondered the other day, "what if this moment, is the most important moment?" What if each moment, as Emerson describes, has impact on our lives as a whole? If none are forgotten and every one is a piece of the perfection of our lives, (which means how we execute today impacts tomorrow) then why waste time fretting over or desiring a spent past or anxious and excited about a distant future?

It is hard not to look back or look forward, but perhaps this is why the sun is so bright, the wind so fierce and the colors so deep in autumn. It's a reminder that the in betweens matters. We must, therefore, focus on perfecting our present. That work could be all-consuming. So I say, live in the present moment. Let it take your breath away and then breathe life back into this moment, creating roots for your future.

Blessings.

Today's Photos: Autumn Beauty and Last Farmer's Market

“You must live in the present, launch yourself on every wave, find your eternity in each moment.” Henry David Thoreau

365 Project - Days 352, 353

"When you photograph a face, you photograph the soul behind it." Jean Luc Godard

In one agreeable moment, my son said "yes" to having a new headshot taken. This was unusual, but he was game. The trouble is I forgot, for that same brief moment, what it is like to photograph him. He is simultaneously delightful and exasperating. I told him he was / is my least favorite client. Nevertheless, he and I both had a job to do. His was to look his very best, mine was to deliver the very best image of him.

I thought it would be useful to share the beginning, middle and end of this expedition for the two of us. We had just 30 minutes to produce the photo on Day 352. When I reviewed our work following the session, I decided I was not happy with the pose on the best photo (#2) you see below. So I took us through the tortured process again on Day 353. Both of us were more clear of what we wanted to accomplish and we created a photograph that captures both his humor and mischievousness.

To be clear, he was no easier to work with the second time around. He insisted on testing my flashes every time I looked away. He moved from his spot. Changed positions. Goofed off and was nonsensical much of the session. In the end, it seems we needed all of that to deliver the final photo, I suppose.

Whether in sales, consulting or photography, I have focused on understanding the underlying nuances of the person with whom I am interacting. The surface is meaningless. In fact, I am terrible at interpreting "face value." All value lies beneath the skin. These photos are a perfect example: Despite the fact that the first and third photographs below were taken just 24 hours apart, IMHO, they do not look much like the same person. Had I thought I was interacting with the young lad in the first photograph, I would have handled the session very differently than if I was working with the young man in the third. People are fascinating and while their faces are interesting, it is what lies behind the face that tells the story. Take a deeper look.

Blessings.

Today's Photos: The Soul of a Teen

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#2

#3

“It is not easy in this world for one person to understand the next one.” Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

“I don't like that man. I must get to know him better.” Abraham Lincoln

365 Project - Days 349, 350

"For every ailment under the sun
There is a remedy, or there is none;
If there be one, try to find it;
If there be none, never mind it." W. W. Bartley

I put my crystal back to use for the photos below and was very happy I did. It is difficult to control the results, but not entirely impossible. I can move the crystal around and watch the image change in the lens, but I'm never 100% assured of the result. I have done my best to find the optimal version of the use of crystal with each photo. The efforts can be frustrating, but the results worth the trouble. These photos remind me of grace. The combination of the complication of our lives and the simplicity of God's grace overcoming those complications.

As in Bartley's version of the Serenity Prayer, above, we should do our best to find solutions to problems and challenges as they arise and if we cannot, let go. This is personally difficult for me. I often agonize before giving in. With plenty of courage, I want for more grace and more wisdom as in Niebuhr's version below.

I recently watched a discussion between Oprah Winfrey and Stephen Colbert on The Late Show in which they discussed their favorite Bible verses. I was captivated by Colbert's rationale for his choice of Matthew 6 ... "Do not worry," he said, "it's like a commandment." To which Oprah responded that it's like a sin to worry. Therefore, as the old adage goes, we truly should "do our best and let God do the rest." This is where grace steps in and often grants us wisdom.

Blessings.

Today's Photos: Grace

"God, give me grace to accept with serenity
the things that cannot be changed,
Courage to change the things
which should be changed,
and the Wisdom to distinguish
the one from the other." Reinhold Niebuhr

365 Project - Days 348, 351

"All things are possible for one who believes." Mark 9:23

When I was a young child I loved to sing. My challenge, however, was that my family told me I could not sing and I should stop. Nearly every time I opened my mouth to sing a brother or sister or one of my parents would insist that I stop. Sometimes, just for fun, I would belt out "Born Free" and they would all come running to shut me down! I found them annoying at the time, but I suspect their comments dampened any musical light or hope. I was so young, it's hard to recall what I was thinking at the time. I don't believe I had plans to become a Beyonce, but I was stripped of even the joy of singing, for I was always self conscious. Fortunately, I still loved music.

While I stopped singing in their presence, I didn't stop singing. The only people who really got to hear me sing aloud were my children. That was one of the blessings of my newborns. I could sing and they were incapable of complaining plus my music was helping the synapses in their brains. Hah! Perhaps that was God's way of telling me it was time to utilize the fraction of talent I had to light up my little corner of the world. My babies never balked at my singing (when they were tiny) and have grown into honored vocalists. I couldn't have been all that bad!! In fact, I would submit that my children's talent is evidence of my love of music and song. They are far superior to me, of course. Where I had a thimble of talent, they have a well. Yet, had I told them they could not or should not sing, they might have believed me and the world would have missed their talent.

Best wishes!

Today's Photos: Singers!

"Thought creates after its kind."

365 Project - Day 347

"Train a child up in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it." Proverbs 22:6

I had the opportunity to attend an event this weekend entitled, "A Crash Course in Parenting." The two primary speakers are critically acclaimed authors, both have law degrees, both are teachers and both are mothers of teenagers. Julie Lythcott-Haims is the author of the award-winning "How to Raise An Adult: Break Free of the Overparenting Trap and Prepare Your Kids for Success" and Jessica Lahey is the author of "The Gift of Failure: How the Best Parents Learn to Let Go So Their Children Can Succeed, writes the bi-weekly column "The Parent-Teacher Conference" for the New York Times, is a contributing writer for The Atlantic, and a commentator on Vermont Public Radio. This was an enjoyable session that was also a bit of a reality check.

The speakers addressed the traps of over-parenting versus child-rearing. "When," they said, "did it become about the parents instead of the children?" Fair point! They stressed that our responsibility is to work ourselves out of a job. I shared that I struggled with the two ends of the spectrum ... For example, one of my sons had a competition over the weekend while my husband and I were at Parent's Day with our eldest. I prepared the materials for the younger son and reviewed his binder with him when I dropped him off at his friend's home the night before. As we discussed the details, his friend mentioned his own lack of organization and the work he still needed to complete, on his own. The speakers said that while the right answer was somewhere in between, the friend would likely be better equipped to handle difficult situations as an adult. "Hmmm," I thought, "Yes, he will know some things, but I'm hoping my son now knows how to create an orderly set of materials." At 14, exactly how much can he be expected to do on his own? Well, I'm game to let him have a try next go around. At least he has an example he can follow.

Life is filled with challenges, adversities and failures. Far more of these than, as parents, we tend to want our children to experience. Shielding them from these is disrespectful, I agree. There is a difference between the mother giraffe who kicks the baby when their born so they can rise and learn to walk and the mother who steps in to cover or prevent every possible mistake or the mother who told me that her job was to ensure her son survived until he was 18. A genuine middle ground can be found that sets our children up for both success and recovery or said differently, for both short term and enduring success. And in doing so they will understand that we loved them enough to give them the gift of training for both success and failure.

You see, I believe my children have an appointment from God and my job is to make sure they arrive, competent and confident.

When my son returned to his university after a recent visit, he requested brownies and chocolate chip cookies to take back with him. It was my pleasure to honor his request ;-)

Blessings.

Today's Photo: A mother's gift ...

"Children are not things to be molded, but are people to be unfolded." Jess Lair